A poem I would like to share with you... I came upon a small quote of it in a book I was reading. I had to look up the rest.  And now I want to share it with you!

"In Reference To Her Children"
By: Anne Bradstreet

"I had eight birds hatcht in one nest,
Four Cocks were there, and Hens the rest.
I nurst them up with pain and care,
No cost nor labour did I spare
Till at the last they felt their wing,
Mounted the Trees and learned to sing.
Chief of the Brood then took his flight
To Regions far and left me quite.
My mournful chirps I after send
Till he return, or I do end.
Leave not thy nest, thy Dame and Sire,
Fly back and sing amidst this Quire.
My second bird did take her flight
And with her mate flew out of sight.
Southward they both their course did bend,
And Seasons twain they there did spend,
Till after blown by Southern gales
They Norward steer'd with filled sails.
A prettier bird was no where seen,
Along the Beach, among the treen.
I have a third of colour white
On whom I plac'd no small delight,
Coupled with mate loving and true,
Hath also bid her Dame adieu.
And where Aurora first appears,
She now hath percht to spend her years.
One to the Academy flew
To chat among that learned crew.
Ambition moves still in his breast
That he might chant above the rest,
Striving for more than to do well,
That nightingales he might excell.
My fifth, whose down is yet scarce gone,
Is 'mongst the shrubs and bushes flown
And as his wings increase in strength
On higher boughs he'll perch at length.
My other three still with me nest
Until they're grown, then as the rest,
Or here or there, they'll take their flight,
As is ordain'd, so shall they light.
If birds could weep, then would my tears
Let others know what are my fears
Lest this my brood some harm should catch
And be surpris'd for want of watch
Whilst pecking corn and void of care
They fall un'wares in Fowler's snare;
Or whilst on trees they sit and sing
Some untoward boy at them do fling,
Or whilst allur'd with bell and glass
The net be spread and caught, alas;
Or lest by Lime-twigs they be foil'd;
Or by some greedy hawks be spoil'd.
O would, my young, ye saw my breast
And knew what thoughts there sadly rest.
Great was my pain when I you bred,
Great was my care when I you fed.
Long did I keep you soft and warm
And with my wings kept off all harm.
My cares are more, and fears, than ever,
My throbs such now as 'fore were never.
Alas, my birds, you wisdom want
Of perils you are ignorant.
Oft times in grass, on trees, in flight,
Sore accidents on you may light.
O to your safety have an eye,
So happy may you live and die.
Mean while, my days in tunes I'll spend
Till my weak lays with me shall end.
In shady woods I'll sit and sing
And things that past, to mind I'll bring.
Once young and pleasant, as are you,
But former toys (no joys) adieu!
My age I will not once lament
But sing, my time so near is spent,
And from the top bough take my flight
Into a country beyond sight
Where old ones instantly grow young
And there with seraphims set song.
No seasons cold, nor storms they see
But spring lasts to eternity.
When each of you shall in your nest
Among your young ones take your rest,
In chirping languages oft them tell
You had a Dame that lov'd you well,
That did what could be done for young
And nurst you up till you were strong
And 'fore she once would let you fly
She shew'd you joy and misery,
Taught what was good, and what was ill,
What would save life, and what would kill.
Thus gone, amongst you I may live,
And dead, yet speak and counsel give.
Farewell, my birds, farewell, adieu,
I happy am, if well with you."

click on the pictures below to go to the fabulous sites that tell you where to find them... now enjoy the fun-ness of Wacky Fun Food Wednesday..

Just sitting here enjoying some Down Time with The Girls.  Thinking about making this Granny Square Poncho...

Scene: girl looking at an empty plate with Oreo crumbs, and a glass of milk.
"Don't cry milk.  I miss them too!" *sigh*

**Disclaimer #1 - Butch didn't even see it coming
**Disclaimer #2 - No matter how this sounds, remember that I don't regret my child hood or upbringing for a second.  Our house was filled with 100% love and NO Matter What our NEEDS were always met!  We were never homeless.  And we always had a bed on a frame, clothes on our backs, food on the table, and a family who loved us.
**Disclaimer #3 - BUTCH DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!!

I love love love love love my husband.  But after 6 years I've figured out something.  My husband is rarely content with what he has.  He buys lottery tickets like they're going out of style because he's dumb enough to actually think there's a minute chance in hell that he could become a multi millionaire.  He runs through vehicles like their water, instead of just sticking with one.  He can't just buy one pair of jeans at a thrift store, he has to buy 5 new pairs at a store (although I'll give him credit, he'll concede to Walmart instead of the really ridiculously expensive brands... even though given the $$ he'd shoot for spendy name brand..).  He goes through pets like they're a disposable income.  He watches Secret Boss and yells things like "Where's my Secret Boss who will give me $$??"

Yep, it was this last one that made me lose it.  It doesn't help that I'm EXHAUSTED. But stand back jack, I'm breaking out the soapbox.... and I quote....

When was the last time that your mom dropped a garbage bag full of hand-me-down cloths from the ugly ass dressed chick at your church and insisted you better find something in there to wear?  When was the last time you got the pleasure from getting your summer at-home poodle perm (not for a poodle -- that's just how the curls on my head turned out)?  Or the I-don't-have-the-extra-$10 so I'm going to go ahead and cut my daughters hair so that she can try and salvage it with grandma hot rollers so that the other kids won't openly laugh at her?  Let's really enjoy the homemade dresses that mom made that ... well... is NOTHING like the picture that the model on the outside shows?  How about the car that dad fixed that no longer has reverse, so we all get to get out and push it backwards out of the mall parking lot space?  I really enjoyed hip-checking the van door closed in my prom dress while at my pre prom dinner date.  Have you ever had to plastic your trailer windows, followed by cuddling under layers of blankets with your sister, next to the space heater (that you're praying won't get your blankets on fire)?  Of course the other high school basketball players on your team won't mock you when they see your generic, cheap, ugly shoes.  And no one will ever guess you just bought your grandson a pair of blue women's keds, since you ripped the tag off.  Wear those patches on your jeans to school proudly kids!  On my Christmas wish list I had it narrowed down to "black sweater" or "blue sweater"... because, let's face it, that's the best shot your'e gonna get.  I made the mistake of asking for over-alls once (hey! they were In Style!) and got men's krispy dickies that even my grandpa wouldn't have worn...

...end quote...

My husband will bitch because he was adopted.  
Ya, Adopted by a lawyer.  Who might've shipped them to overpriced boarding schools.  But we're talking kids that were ONLY placed in Name Brand clothing.  They lived in Southern Cali - so their name brand was way more spendy than our small-town-Oregon name brand.  His dad had a chauffeur, his own limo and cook on staff.  We're talking a man that had multiple theraputic beds in his house.  Fancy cars.  A backyard inground pool and hottub.  An intercom system in every room - and all bathrooms - of the house.   The man is on his 3rd mail-order bride.  No I'm not kidding.

I was raised poor.  And I know that if I plan on living in Oregon for the rest of my life I will never be remotely rolling in the dough.  And I'm ok with that.  My childhood taught me to live within my means.  Be happy with what I have.  Don't get me wrong.  I still go thrift store shopping for my clothes.  But I try and stick my kids in name brand (sometimes I find them with the tags on in the thrift stores, and sometimes on clearance at the store).  They only get name brand shoes, not the most spendy ones, but I like shoes that they won't get mocked for AND won't fall apart a week after you buy them.  (And I'll admit that the majority of clothing I buy for myself are freebies from Twin or thrift store finds.)  Since they're boys, Butch can help with the haircuts, or they go to the barber.  And we might not spend a fortune for the holidays, but I try and get them something they want.  

I just get a bit irritated, and too often point it out to him, when he gets on one of his "not happy with life" kicks.  He never verbalizes it.  Thank Gawd or he'd have been gone a loooong time ago.  But when he gets, or gets rid of, a vehicle or pet AGAIN I just get so ANGRY.  When I find another stash of scratch-it's in his car door I think CAN I HAVE AN ALLOWANCE EQUIVALENT TO THE AMOUNT YOU WASTE ON THOSE??   So ya... when he muttered at the show I chewed him out.  It's ok.  He has hearing problems anyways, so he used his "Selective Hearing" powers from his Good Ear and tuned me out.  How do I know that?  He spent the entire conversation grunting "uh huh" and watching the tv while channel flipping... no matter how many times I stopped and asked for his "Undivided Attention."

Well Becky, what have you been up to lately?

The Parentals came for a visit.  And ended up taking a 3 hour detour on the way over, to go save their grandson  (because who would be better to be there for our family in time of crisit?). 
We drove on a road trip of Epic proportions to visit an Aunt I haven't seen in years, and checked out the piece of pier that's floated up from the japanese tsunami.  I say Epic, because once you experience my father's soul-searing, heart-wrenching, vomit-inducing, life-flash-before-your-eyes driving, FROM THE BACK SEAT -- you will never review driving the same way again.  We kept the Nephew with us for another 3 days, to give them a break. 

Than we loaded the whole passel of us on a road trip to the airport.  Treated kiddos to a night in a hotel (in-door pool & continental breakfast a must!).  Daddy & the Teen joined us for one of the swims.  

Monday night was painfully exhausting & a huge reminder that 33 is NOT the same as 20. Wow. 

Went to sleep a little after 10pm-ish, after the 2nd trip to the pool with the little guys (while Teen spent an hour chatting his gfriend on his phone).  After I had re-packed Teen for his AM flight. 
I woke up at 3:30am.  After being woke up not once, not twice, but 3 Xs during the night. 
Time #1 - massive stomach cramping, digestion blaring, ugh. 
Time #2 - Nephew woke me up crying for his mommy in his sleep (and I - heartbroken - came over to him and rubbed his back and told him it'd be ok, while he dozed back to sleep). 
Time #3 - Teen woke himself up yelling at his bed.  (He excitedly got the hide-a-bed all to himself).  He swore the shadows on it made him think the mattress was moving all by itself.  LMAO.

I got up at 3:30am.  Got Teen up about 4:10am.  We grabbed the Shuttle at 4:45 for the airport.
By the time we cleared security, I got in 4 fights with him in the Waiting Area getting him breakfast, got him boarded 40 min early with the other 8 Unaccompanied Minors, waited until the Bird was airborn, and spent 40 minutes squabbling with the hotel over the phone to get a return shuttle to the hotel... I got back at 8am.

We woke up Xax & Kaylub (they're months apart... and personality-wise are like twins).  And took them pj-clad to enjoy the breakfast.  They had fun making their own blueberry waffles, and getting their own oj.
Than I took them to swim #3.  Butch found me there happily asleep in a chair (under the watchful glare of some cranky old 86 year old Witch of a grandma who was across the window in the breakfast room) & sent me back to the room for a nap.  Where Papa found all of us at 10:30am (I was sleeping amidst quite the ruckus by than) and happily/exhaustedly himself - hauled the kiddos back to his place for a 2 week vacation...

Mom asked me today... "How are you enjoying Alone Time?"
Honestly?
I've been too exhausted to notice!  Once we headed home (3 hours WITHOUT STOPS), and made a few stops... we didn't get here until 6 last night.  We watched a movie and crashed.  Got up bright & early this morning to go back to work.  I was in my office 8am-4:30pm ... we went and found dinner & got home after 6pm.  I told myself I was going to get back into working out ... but laziness won out tonight. Since the rest of the week is going to be brutally busy, finishing playing catch up on yardwork.......
And around it all I've been busy checking on Twin & seeing how she is feeling!! She had surgery, a cast put on, and I haven't been able to be there to help her get better!! AND I've been checking on Auntie... to see if Teen has been driving her nuts yet!

Twin  had foot surgery yesterday.
Twin made it home safe & sound.
Check out her update here...

Austin is 13.
That means I have (hopefully) 3 good years ... and 6 until HS graduation.
That's it.  1000 days before the License and maybe a little less than 2000 before Graduation.
Is it wrong that I hope he sticks around longer and does Community College from home?
And Xav is nipping on his heels at 9.

I have to seriously take a 2nd look at how I'm going to use those days with them.

Forcing them into breakfast with me on school days & church days (I've been enjoying the fact that they're voluntarily sleeping in this summer... 1st Ever!!). 
Forcing them into lunch with me on summer days. 
And Family Dinner every day!!

At least an hour of doing Something with them daily.  

Game Night -- minimum once a week?

Reading Night - daily!!

I've tried - and failed - these ideas before.
But life is Less Busy & Less Stressful here.

So maybe, hopefully, due to the urgency of Time Slipping Away... I'll write it on a Big Ol Board and Post It on the Living Room Wall....
and this time.... this time.... I'll Do It!!

Because the thought of them leaving home.... depresses the hell out of me!!!

I know the point of Motherhood is raising them into Adults ... but .... but.... I'm not ready for that yet.  Everyone says you get there when the time comes.  But I'd like to push those 2000 days back awhile.  And I want to smother them with affection in the mean time.

I'm not good at creative, at impromptu, and unfortunately I have the attention span of a squirrel. I try and try to focus.  I love them to pieces though.  So let's hope for the best!