When I was a child I wanted to be a lot of things... and astronaut, a pilot in the air force, a lawyer... these were all fun ideas that tumbled through my head.  But in 12th grade, when Mr Swagerty made us write down what where we would be in 10 years with our life, the one thing I knew for certain: I wanted to be a Mom.  My Mom was Super Mom.  She kept a clean house, dishes done, laundry done, home cooked 99% of the food, baked bread, canned, sewed, did yard work, hauled us to - and cheered us on - for all of our sports we wanted to be in, took us to church every time the door opened, allowed us to rotate thru random pets, cleaned the church, helped all the old ladies in the neighborhood, became surrogate mom to all our friends, ran the local prayer chain at the church.  She was always up, dressed and breakfast going before we got up.  I wanted to be her.  Well... 13 years into Mommyhood myself... and here's a few things that I've learned from being a Mommy.  These are things I either didn't think to ask Mommy/or didn't fathom could happen.... (and please let me apologize in advance if any of these things are things I've brought up in the past... please refer to #1)... 

(In no apparent order)

#1   MEMORY After giving birth to KId#1 and definitely after Kid #2 -- I became a grade A Airhead.  My memory flew out the window.  I thought this was something that might have effected me more than other people?  But the more I talk to other women, the more I find out that this is not the case.  I have chunks of things from childhood my sisters will say "Don't you remember when...?"  And I'm like.... uhhh??? Maybe???

#2  CRYING. I never cried in sappy movies.  I was never a hugely emotional girl.  In the 1st trimester of 1st pregnancy (before we even knew I was prego) we were watching Godzilla in the movie theatre and I was bawling and yelling "Leave her alone!! She's just a Mommy!!"  I'd NEVER cried in a movie before.  Now?  Extreme Makeover (the one where they make houses nice for people who deserve it) makes me cry.  I was watching the comedy "What To Expect When You're Expecting" and got teary eyed.  I remember it was a week after giving birth to Kid#2 and both kids were crying and I called my Mom in tears and asked "How do you deal with Two??" And she said.... "You cry A LOT."  And I told her "You could've told me that BEFORE I got pregnant." 

#3  POTTY TRAINING.  My children decided that they wanted to be different.  The oldest wouldn't poop in a diaper or pull up from about 2 on.  But he'd sure pee in one.  His brother was the opposite.  He would poop in it, but not pee in it.  I remember thinking... when will this stop?  There's no way this kid can go to Pre School like this. And don't even get me started on the whole bed wetting thing.  Sure, we can blame it on the split-parenting and all that drama.  But comparatively the drama we deal with is NOTHING compared to many kids.  I know I know.  They just need to Outgrow it.  That's what the pediatrician said when he was 12 and they were kind enough to run tests anyways.  But nothing can prepare you for the stench of wet bedding from an almost pre-teen.  I would wash it daily, without being mean to him about it.  (He got enough grief from bio-dad).  And it was heard because it limited slumber parties.  But they're almost all cleared up (with an exception of really long overly-scheduled days, or when they're ill.).

#4 I HAVE NO BACKBONE.  Or at least not much of one when it comes to my kids.  I should.  But that's why I married Butch.  He's older and firmer than I am.  And thankfully not a yell-er, so it's much more effective.  I tend to cave, because it's easier to deal with.  Or Austin & I will get in a yelling match ending with a "Mom, stop B*TCHING!!" (Which is often how the whole thing started... don't even get me started on the fact that they swear... see #5) or me calling Dad -or bio-dad- and dragging them into it.  "MOm, STOP THREATENING ME WITH ONE OF MY DADS!!"  And I come back with "But you actually BEHAVE FOR THEM.  You aren't scared of me!!"

#5 SWEARING.  Ugh.  Chalk one up for the Epic Fail list.  Yep.  I love to tell my kids the story of our Mom's Magic Back Hand.  You could say a word that resembled/rhymed with/or was a swear word.  If you were within 5 miles of her, that hand would fly out of nowhere and smack you right in the mouth.  (It also happened when you were rude/sassy/backtalking her.).  I always lifted my chin (to avoid it??) and would get a mild bloody nose in the process.  No this wasn't child abuse.  It taught us real quick what a Filter was.  To this day we try and keep the respectful talk going if we're with them.  Or we whisper in the yard.  There are days I can swear like a trucker.  Which is weird because, aside from when I'm in my office or have my "Manager Hat" on (8-230 M-F), 95% of the time it's just me, Butch & the kids.  And Butch is a man of few words.  So not sure where the swearing came in?  Lately the 13 year old is trying to get a feel for boundaries and what is Inappropriate and the "F" word is the word of the moment.  Which we try and try and try to Filter.  Ugh. 

#6 MODESTY.  I'm not even sure where this fits into play.  But we were raised that you cover things up.  If you were cold, those nips better be covered.  We weren't allowed to wear sport team shorts without spandex underneath.  No cleavage ever showing.  No two piece bathing suit.  The more you flaunt sex, the worse impression you give others about yourself.  That's not how God wants women to be.  As I got older my styles changed.  Shoot I think right up until I met Butch I flaunted it.  Not so much with mini skirts or midriff showing shirts, but I liked to wear thong underwear, or have a little cleavage showing.  I liked to turn a guys head. (Or hope that I could turn one.)  I liked to feel sexy  Maybe it was marrying a Man and not an overgrown HS jock.  Maybe it's the fact that I'm 33 now and raising an almost pre-teen & teen boy.  I no longer wear short shorts (unless I'm swimming, because I feel naked with just bottoms on).  I always have a bra on.  I even sleep in a sports bra.  (On the rare occasions it's just Butch & I in the house... I might enjoy not wearing one).  I (much to Butch's dismay) don't wear thong underwear anymore.  Cleavage is rarely ever seen.  (Except on their step mom... because at 37 she thinks she needs to dress like a Dallas Cowgirl Hooters girl). I don't sleep naked anymore (never know when one of them needs something).  Heck we don't even sleep with the doors shuts.  (If we want to play scrabble we wait til they're asleep, shut it, and open it back up when we're done.)
10/6/2012 21:34:20

Hhhmmm... Memory?! What memory!!??!
I don't remember much about my knucklehead's potty training except for him playing naked in my parents garden in the summer.
And I am so with you on #5! I keep it clean in company or with my folks, and on social media for the most part, but at home and when I'm driving I'm a regular potty mouth!
As for #6, we were taught modesty but we were allowed to show cleavage and wear short skirts and the like. I sleep naked though I might put a T-shirt on in winter. I don't mind showing off my cleavage and I know I still have great legs. I do live in fear of doing the "mutton dressed as lamb" thing though...

10/8/2012 04:18:12

I think part of my clothing issue... leastwise now... is because it's so cold here! I'm wearing my knee boots over jeans, and cardigans - daily! I like to show some cleavage when Butch and I go out. If for no other reason than to tease him all night :)


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    Dear Twin... sometimes words come out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to stop them... well aint that the life...


    Some people make parenting look sooo easy.  They are big fat liar pants.  Parenting is hard.  Kids can be awful.  They don't come with an Instruction Manual.  I started young and have grown up with them.  We have gone through a lot together.  And I would have never been able to do it without the wonderful family I have.  I started blogging because of Twin.  She said that it wasn't nice of me to take a Bad Day out on the Hubby or the Brats.  And so this began.... it's my Rantings From The Time Out Corner... because, let's face it - when I'm full on Cranky Pants... my hubby doesn't fail to make me go Sit One Out for the Team.  (for more see ME above)

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