Today was NOT a good day.  Parts of it could be classified as Alrighty.  And some brief teensie weensie tidbits were Spot On. But many many many moments fall under Epic Fail (as opposed to Epic Faile which would have been Most Marvelous).  Most good intentions in our family often fall by the wayside like that.  We just want to treat them.  And they decide that's a great time to have full fledged breakdowns.  Why is that?  Why can't fun just be fun?  Why is it that restaurant treat = tantrum.  Family fun center = tantrum.  Hiking, biking, etc etc = tantrum tantrum tantrum.  I'd get if they were still 1. and 1/2 and 5, but they're 10 and 13 and 1/2.  And we're 33 and 41....Years old people.  Not months. Hmph. 

We had 3 fits today....
FIT #1....
My Mr was being a thoughtful Daddy and took us to lunch at The Black Bear Diner.  Since we've moved back to town the boys have been asking to eat there.  It is the place their grandparents liked to treat them to when we used to live here.  Should be a slam dunk in mealtime Win win!  But ohhhh...
Pulling into the driveway... Xav starts up....
"I remember this place.  It has a funny smell..." Which proceeded in a 5 minute discussion on how this particular place has NEVER Had a funny smell linked with it (unlike so many others) and so on and so forth.
We than head inside to pick a seat inside a severely overpacked restaurant.  Our table was smack dab in the middle of the place.  This is a family ran place with great customer service.  We had no less than 4 people stop by our table in the first 10 minutes to ask us about drinks and if we were ready to order yet.  He decides to go into sensory overload. Holy shite people.  If it wasn't the hair itching his neck (from the haircut earlier) it was all of the hub bub sounds of the packed restaurant.  He couldn't think.  He didn't know what he wanted.  Full fledged breakdown people.  Covering his ears.  Elevated voice.  I tried to think of all of the advice that's been crammed into my noggin.  Don't raise my voice.  Stay calm.  Count to 10.  Eliminate distractions.  Talk calmly.  Use small sentences.  Keep it simple.  I took him out of the restaurant to our own bench in the entrance.  He kept repeating the phrase in his angry voice "but you AREN'T LISTENING... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!!"  He didn't know what was on the menu.  Which I kept telling him what was on it.  And he kept repeating BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.  We went round and round and round and round.  I got him to admit he was hunry and took him back in.  Butch got him to order strawberry waffles (both Butch and Austin ordered while we were outside.)  He almost distracted himself with playing Angry Birds on my phone (even that wouldn't work right for him) but kept yelling at the phone...and than the food came.  And he started up again.  Clutching at his ears and his eyes and his itchy neck.  And Butch had enough and left the restaurant altogether.  And Austin sprung to life as the most mature 13 year old he's ever been.  While I tried to calm Xav down, Austin went in and outside playing go-to to figure out how angry dad was.  He even voluntarily got boxes and boxed his and Xav's food.  I was so proud.... until Butch set me off....
Fit #2
I go-go-go many days.  Since we've been here I've brought files home with me.  I work early morning and late at night.  I'm on a massive deadline to get 70 files done, and with the holidays I know it's a HUGE crunch.  But if I can get throught January it will settle WAY down.  So I work-work-work and my "non work" time is spent doing dishes, cleaning the house, scooping the litter box, doing laundry, making beds, trying to remember homework, watching a little tv with the kids, hauling them to and from church, etc etc. 
Take today, for example.  It's a Saturday.  I got up, watched brief tv, ate cereal with Xav, quick shower, got the boys motivated to get dressed. and scooped the litter box.  Took the boys to the salon where Ausitn got a treat & got his hair highlighted (1st x ever -- he begged & we caved... it's just hair!) AND Xav got his hair cut there too (he wanted to be like his bro... minus the dye job).  From there to the Bear Diner Fiasco (fit #1) and than back home. I than bagged up all of the dirty laundry and bedding in the house.  I went to my office to squeeze in about 1. and 1/2 hours of paperwork that was on a deadline for Jan 1 (with making quick breaks to the house for Austin issues).  Than I get a text from Butch "Im board 7 days aweek in a house get to yah" And I freaked OUT.  I snapped.  I charged home ALL ATTITUDE.  I yelled I stomped.  I took the fight inside and outside and chewed ass and took names.  BORED!!!????!!!! I can barely see straight I'm so busy and so exhausted right now.  And he ISN'T.  Because maintenance is more of an "on call" gig.  And because they're tearing into our complex in a month he has even less to do than normal, because all of his extra projects he can't do it. And because he's been sick with a sinusy flu weakness icky bug - that's attached on to him like the plague for a week.  And because he keeps having bad back/neck pinched issues.  So he's been on his buttox on our couch cruising craigslist on the internet.  And he's BORED!  I stomped thru and threw my fit.  I WAS going to head to the internet (next on my "to do list" for the day) and he made the mistake of commenting on that too "oh and your'e going to be gone for ANOTHER 3 hours"  and I thru all of the bags of clothes/bedding back in the house.  By golly all of these ungrateful family members of mine are gonna get dressed because we're heading out into the 18 degree snow to go hiking!! Thank goodness I was smart enough to google "sunset" time before we left.. because with drivetime it would've gotten dark before we got out of the car.  
We ended up going to watch Jack Reacher.  And the kids were fantastic during the movie!! But that didn't last long... 
Fit #3
We came out of the movie and found that it had been snowing again (we still have inches on the ground since before Christmas) and the roads were crap.  So we walked over to A&W/KFC because it was in the parking lot and an easy dinner.  Xav was ok with the ordering part.. until the food arrived at the table.  Than it was moans and dramatics.  His head hurt.  It was noisy (it wasn't... there was only 1 other couple even in the restaurant).  He was hungry but his stomach hurt when he ate.  He was tired.  He was whiny.  I actually got up from the table at one point and walked out of hearing range and called my mom to tell her how he's been.  GAH! 
There are some things that I need to be sure and mention that I did DO RIGHT today and things that I LEARNED today and things that I put on my TO DO list for the day....

#1 Xav isn't the only one that has sensory overload.  I do too.  Too much noises and tv and people drive me nutty.  Take right now for example.  It's 11:27pm and I'm blogging because every time I try I have 2 kids and 1 husband that insist on reading over my shoulder even thought I DON'T stalk them when they're on this thing.  And now that I have silence because they're in bed my deaf hubby has the news BLARING and all I want to do is tear the tv out of the wall by the plug so I can have silence.  And no it's NOT PMS because my period ended yesterday which leads me too..

#2 I REALLY need to be medicated.  As much as I strive for not putting  pills in my body and choose to just tough things out... I'm caving.  I am pretty sure that us girls have inherited some mood swings from our mommy.  I know that altough my sisters aren't admitting it, that I'm NOT the only one that has these swings either.  I have a hubby who is about as non confrontational as you can get.  Doesn't raise his voice.  Doesn't speak a whole lot in general.  And yet the wrong word at the wrong time.  Ok so just a simple word that wouldn't have to be classified as Wrong can set me off. Like the word Bored today.  Or a word that he's just kidding around with will make me go from Sane to Ape Crazy in about 1/2 a second.  And I will Flip the Heck Out! I remember my mom did (and does) it in our childhood.  Than they stuck her on Happy Pills and she was AWESOME.  But than she was -and is- off them and OMG.  And I'm pretty sure that's my problem.  Insurance kicks in March 1st and the 2nd I'm going to be sitting in the doctors office...

#3 Xav is going to have to see therapist/counselor/physiatrist(psycologist?)? Basically I want him to see someone who specializes in behavior. So far he just sees a pediatrician for his ADHD.  But his little fits he has I REALLY think should be better assessed by people that specialize in behavior.  And we will just continue to take one fit at a time. 

#4 Every time a fit happened today we did share lots of hugs and hugs and I Love Yous and I'm Sorry For My Fits.  So there's that....
And I know that I've mentioned a few of these things already... but these stupid thoughts are swirling about in my tired tired head so I'm going to repeat them anyways....So many things have happened lately and I've been overloaded and we've all been so busy and so much has happened.  We moved back to Madras, where Mommy and Daddy live.  Twin and her hubby have started the adoption process... ok so they're full into it now.  Baby Sis graduated from Nursing college (so proud!) and we were there thanks to YouTube capabilities.  And I'm beginning to worry that I just sound like I'm negative negative negative all of the time on my kids when there are so many people that see the positive positive positive of there's.  And the kids missed their 1st Christmas at their bio-dads ever thanks to the snow on the mountain.  And I DO love them to pieces (just wish they weren't so HYPER and SUPER ENERGY all the time!).  And this was the first year that we didn't put up a Tree Tree and we put up a Mini Christmas Tree so that our 4 kitties wouldn't terrorize it like they did last year.  And I really want to get another tattoo.  And I really really really just want to save up for a trip to Germany to see Twin.  And I've bawled a LOT lately because I miss Twin so much. And Butch is awesome and just pampered me for Christmas yesterday and got me a fabulous cut (like an A-line) and red lowlights in my hair. And that about sums up the past month.....

12/30/2012 10:04:22

Oooh I swear you and I are as close as sisters! Talk about a sister-from-another-continent!
Flying off the handle in zero point one seconds flat - ME TOO!
I have to remind myself to tell people about the good things because sometimes I harp on about the bad ones too much...

12/31/2012 19:11:24

It is hard. Especially when they're being sooo obnoxious no matter what you try to get them to stop! ...


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    Dear Twin... sometimes words come out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to stop them... well aint that the life...


    Some people make parenting look sooo easy.  They are big fat liar pants.  Parenting is hard.  Kids can be awful.  They don't come with an Instruction Manual.  I started young and have grown up with them.  We have gone through a lot together.  And I would have never been able to do it without the wonderful family I have.  I started blogging because of Twin.  She said that it wasn't nice of me to take a Bad Day out on the Hubby or the Brats.  And so this began.... it's my Rantings From The Time Out Corner... because, let's face it - when I'm full on Cranky Pants... my hubby doesn't fail to make me go Sit One Out for the Team.  (for more see ME above)

    I would like your thoughts, help, comments, feedback. I am not a robot!

    No matter how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with