Weebly and I have NOT been getting along lately... for some reason it doesn't always like to publish my stuff..and it doesn't like to accept comments and it doesn't like for other people to comment on my blog... so I'm trying to change sites & see if I have better luck... so if you would like to keep stalking me... please head over to.... http://nothowyourmomdidit.blogspot.com/ 
I look forward to seeing you over there!
I'm linking over from "Airing My Dirty Laundry"... because she is full of grrrreeeat ideas ... and this is another one!!

Since it's easier to make resolutions of what I'm NOT going to do....


I resolve NOT to quit trying to find the perfect eyeliner AND learn how to
property put it on....

How To: Cat Eyeliner by Steph

I resolve to NOT give up chocolate.  It is such a great stress reliever...

I resolve to NOT bother growing my hair out. I will NEVER be a model.  My hair is NEVER going to be naturally straight.  This is such an easy look.  And who really has the time around kids and husband and housework and work to mess with a blow dryer and a straightner for hours?? Not me!! 

I resolve to NOT quit hammering Angel with questions on ADHD related issues, whinings and meltdowns....
I resolve to not quit stalking this girl....

I resolve to not quit stalking this one either.....

I resolve to NOT quit jumping all over my children's butts whenever they have the balls to make a racist comment (which they usually don't get is racist until AFTER I flip out on them about it.)  We are all human beings - irregardless of race, nationatlity, sexuality, financial status, or job. Period.  We all have to put our pants on one leg at a time (unless due to some physical ailment this isn't ...) and we all have the same bodily functions. 
I resolve to not quit enjoying a good Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie... not sure how... but lately I've been watching a lot of movie with him in it.. He's only 2 years younger than me... so I don't even consider it creepy that I find him attractive...

I resolve to not quit loving on my kitties. All 4 of them...


Just because I want to kill some Mommy Time (and drinking isn't a habit in our house ...) I'm going to take Aunt Becky's advice and try a 2012 Meme ...

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
went an entire year without seeing Twin.. hugging Twin... squishing Twin's face...
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I said I'd keep working out and trying to keep this weight off... I succeeded until about May and than stalemated the rest of the year 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
 my cat Midnight. Twice. Even kept 2 of them as proof.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
 my cat Tigger.  spent a fortune trying to save his furry butt..

5. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
a tv that isn't a dinosaur POS that isn't 3 feet wide and 400lbs and has status sounds on the Disney XD network..  

6. What countries did you visit?
 I dreamed I was smuggled to Germany in parentals luggage to visit Twin.. and although I took a virtual tour on one of their tourist trips... alas I WASN'T there....
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:
 There was this funeral that I think was in September for my little sister's bff's baby sister.  To watch their brother do the ceremony.  The whole thing was a very sad event.  AND it was the first road trip that was ever just me and my Baby Sis

 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
 I didn't drive to Salem and drop off my children to be raised by their dad.  I call that  HUGE acheivment
9. What was your biggest failure?
 See #8??
I yelled too much and swore to much... at the kids... and Especially Butch.  I needed to be on his side more.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had Strep.  I'm pretty sure it was Spring of 2012.  I thought I was going to die.  I was in a 103 degree hell for 2 days on the couch and spent another 3 trying to get energy again.  It was horrible.  Thank God Butch was there to the keep the kids from running amuck.  Not that I had a CLUE what went on around me during that time.  Getting to the bathroom required both of us.  And not because I was trying to get kinky without the kids knowing either.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
 Knee high boots. They were my favorite item of clothing for about 2 months.  I wore them daily, with everything.  Than I moved here where it's a cold desert full of slippery ice and snow.  And they've been replaced by my Georgia's, which are heavy but keep me from falling smack dab on my fat butt.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
 "celebration" that's hilarous hahahahahahah wait while I run and piddle in the toilet since I just got a little in my underoos....hahahahha... Austin has had a couple of brief moments - like the diner incident a couple of days ago.  Xav got the first run on his first Little League game.  Those where good moments.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
 Really?  I run low income housing for a living.  Which means you can take the kaliedoscope of WalMart's Most Interesting and become their landlord.  And this past year we've ran 7 different sites totally 108 units + 45 units + 70 units = 223 units... which makes at least 400 people to entertain, appall and depress... somtime's simultaneously.
14. Where did most of your money go?
I have two ungrateful children that are only getting older by the day. And six step-children that have ungrateful mothers.  Where do you think my money went?  I'm growing that stuff on a tree in the back yard.  My kids feed and water our Money Tree daily.  It is the center of our world.  Duh!  That's why I get my clothes on clearance and my hubby cuts his own hair.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
 Sending Austin on his first solo plane flight to see his Aunt Ruthie?  Or maybe when she came for a visit?  (even if it was for a funeral).  Two days ago my hubby treated me to a haircut and dye job, neither one of which I had to do at home in my bathroom!
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
 Um ya.  I don't know.
Austin? Should I dare admit his initial response..."my d*ck...." and I might as well censor it from there.... yep I'm a HUGE FAILURE on this parenting response... When asked where he comes up with this? Pandora? And his friend.... I HEART JUNIOR HIGHERS!!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?  sadder.. I think... 

ii. thinner or fatter? About the same... since I was 7 months into a weight loss regimen... or at least within 5lbs of where I was at...
iii. richer or poorer? roughly the same... We tell our kids that we have a roof over there heads, a car that gets from point A to B, they get to eat food, and we try and keep them in clothes that fit and aren't horribly stained/holed... so that should count as a Success!!
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
 Smacked my kids in the mouth for being mouthy, swearing, and talking inappropriately.  Maybe than they wouldn't be so filter-ness and mouthy as they are now. 
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
 See #9.  I wish I hadn't yelled at been mean to Butch as I did... I have crazy hormones and have took it out on him wayyy to much.  And the kids too. Probably took it out on them too.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas is over.  We actually did it initially on the 22nd at my parents house, because the kids were supposed to go to their dad's.  On the 23rd we all got snowed in, we made it 5 miles out of our town before the sliding on the road made us go home.  The bio-dad made it almost to the top of a mountain and had to turn back around, and ended up mildly wrecking his car in the process. So on the 25th we had dinner #2 at my parents (since they opened ALL their goodies on the 22nd, since we didn't plan the snow-in).
21.. There was no #21... and since there are already 39 other questions... I'm not going to make up another one...
22. Did you fall in love in 2012?
This is going to sound super sappy, but the longer Butch & I are together the more I fall in love with him.  It took me months to even realize I was truly attracted to him, even though we were engaged!  But, the longer we are together the more and more fantastic I get that he truly is.  My sisters have both told me that if I screw this up they will fly here and kill me and steal my husband from my dead carcas.  I'm pretty sure they're 112% serious. 
23. How many one-night stands?
 I would have just loved it if my hubby and I could've had a no-strings attached one-nighter in a hotel room somewhere - just because. we wanted to have Alone Time...
24. What was your favorite TV program?
 Sons of Anarchy, Heroes, Walking Dead, United States of Tara.  Butch and I spent weeks watching our way thru Heroes & USofT.  And I love SofA
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't truly hate anyone.  My parents drilled in my dead that hate = wanting to kill.  And I don't think I met anyone this past year that I truly would want to kill.  So let's just leave it at that... 
26. What was the best book you read?
 I read A LOT of books so I don't know... I thought Stephen King's A Green Mile was a LOT better than the movie...
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'd have to redirect this question to my 13 year old... He would say "Like A Boss" station on Pandora.... I probably don't want want to know 1/2 of those questions...
28. What did you want and get?
 See #11.  The boots.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
 I'm a sucker for chick flicks.  We watch a lot of movies.  The problem is that unlike my sisters, I have a HORRIBLE memory regarding them.  We watched Parental Guidance last week.  I really liked that one.  A feel good movie about parenting and grandparenting.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We don't do a lot for birthdays, so probably NOTHING.  We moved a week later, does that count?  I turned 33. 

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
 See #1 -- SEEING TWIN MORE.  If she had moved to anywhere that was no longer than a 4-6 hour drive from me... it would have been AWESOME!! Same goes it for my baby sister...
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
 I have a crappy fashion concept.  Don't ask.
34. What kept you sane?
 Special Mommy Pills would have helped a lot.  Austin's sense of humor helped a little.  Around wanting to pop him in the mouth that is.  That teen humor.  Funny.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I think Matthew McConaghey, Jason Stathum, Gerard Butler, Channing Tatum are all yummy ... and fun to watch in movies...
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
 I'm not big in politics... I just stay out of that as much as possible...
37. Who did you miss?
drumroll please.... TWIN!!! Have you not been following these answers?
38. Who was the best new person you met?
my imaginariy friend August.  He never backtalks me.  He likes ice cream and teddy bears.  And long walks in the snow... 

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
 Kids grow like weeds...
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I know that I've quoted this one from Pink before... but...
"Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say
Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face
There's no one quite like you
You push all my buttons down
I know life would suck without you
At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck
You're an asshole but I love you
And you make me so mad I ask myself
Why I'm still here, or where could I go
You're the only love I've ever known
But I hate you, I really hate you,
So much, I think it must be True love, true love
It must be true love
Nothing else can break my heart like True love, true love,
It must be true love
No one else can break my heart like you

"Mom I KNOW you and Dad haven't had sex in a while."
"Why would you say that?"
"Because you AREN'T pregnant yet."
"It's because I don't kick out eggs regularly..."
"Oh, so YOU'RE the one firing blanks!... DAAAAAD Mom's target is tilted to the leeeefffttt!!!"





Today was NOT a good day.  Parts of it could be classified as Alrighty.  And some brief teensie weensie tidbits were Spot On. But many many many moments fall under Epic Fail (as opposed to Epic Faile which would have been Most Marvelous).  Most good intentions in our family often fall by the wayside like that.  We just want to treat them.  And they decide that's a great time to have full fledged breakdowns.  Why is that?  Why can't fun just be fun?  Why is it that restaurant treat = tantrum.  Family fun center = tantrum.  Hiking, biking, etc etc = tantrum tantrum tantrum.  I'd get if they were still 1. and 1/2 and 5, but they're 10 and 13 and 1/2.  And we're 33 and 41....Years old people.  Not months. Hmph. 

We had 3 fits today....
FIT #1....
My Mr was being a thoughtful Daddy and took us to lunch at The Black Bear Diner.  Since we've moved back to town the boys have been asking to eat there.  It is the place their grandparents liked to treat them to when we used to live here.  Should be a slam dunk in mealtime Win win!  But ohhhh...
Pulling into the driveway... Xav starts up....
"I remember this place.  It has a funny smell..." Which proceeded in a 5 minute discussion on how this particular place has NEVER Had a funny smell linked with it (unlike so many others) and so on and so forth.
We than head inside to pick a seat inside a severely overpacked restaurant.  Our table was smack dab in the middle of the place.  This is a family ran place with great customer service.  We had no less than 4 people stop by our table in the first 10 minutes to ask us about drinks and if we were ready to order yet.  He decides to go into sensory overload. Holy shite people.  If it wasn't the hair itching his neck (from the haircut earlier) it was all of the hub bub sounds of the packed restaurant.  He couldn't think.  He didn't know what he wanted.  Full fledged breakdown people.  Covering his ears.  Elevated voice.  I tried to think of all of the advice that's been crammed into my noggin.  Don't raise my voice.  Stay calm.  Count to 10.  Eliminate distractions.  Talk calmly.  Use small sentences.  Keep it simple.  I took him out of the restaurant to our own bench in the entrance.  He kept repeating the phrase in his angry voice "but you AREN'T LISTENING... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!!"  He didn't know what was on the menu.  Which I kept telling him what was on it.  And he kept repeating BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.  We went round and round and round and round.  I got him to admit he was hunry and took him back in.  Butch got him to order strawberry waffles (both Butch and Austin ordered while we were outside.)  He almost distracted himself with playing Angry Birds on my phone (even that wouldn't work right for him) but kept yelling at the phone...and than the food came.  And he started up again.  Clutching at his ears and his eyes and his itchy neck.  And Butch had enough and left the restaurant altogether.  And Austin sprung to life as the most mature 13 year old he's ever been.  While I tried to calm Xav down, Austin went in and outside playing go-to to figure out how angry dad was.  He even voluntarily got boxes and boxed his and Xav's food.  I was so proud.... until Butch set me off....
Fit #2
I go-go-go many days.  Since we've been here I've brought files home with me.  I work early morning and late at night.  I'm on a massive deadline to get 70 files done, and with the holidays I know it's a HUGE crunch.  But if I can get throught January it will settle WAY down.  So I work-work-work and my "non work" time is spent doing dishes, cleaning the house, scooping the litter box, doing laundry, making beds, trying to remember homework, watching a little tv with the kids, hauling them to and from church, etc etc. 
Take today, for example.  It's a Saturday.  I got up, watched brief tv, ate cereal with Xav, quick shower, got the boys motivated to get dressed. and scooped the litter box.  Took the boys to the salon where Ausitn got a treat & got his hair highlighted (1st x ever -- he begged & we caved... it's just hair!) AND Xav got his hair cut there too (he wanted to be like his bro... minus the dye job).  From there to the Bear Diner Fiasco (fit #1) and than back home. I than bagged up all of the dirty laundry and bedding in the house.  I went to my office to squeeze in about 1. and 1/2 hours of paperwork that was on a deadline for Jan 1 (with making quick breaks to the house for Austin issues).  Than I get a text from Butch "Im board 7 days aweek in a house get to yah" And I freaked OUT.  I snapped.  I charged home ALL ATTITUDE.  I yelled I stomped.  I took the fight inside and outside and chewed ass and took names.  BORED!!!????!!!! I can barely see straight I'm so busy and so exhausted right now.  And he ISN'T.  Because maintenance is more of an "on call" gig.  And because they're tearing into our complex in a month he has even less to do than normal, because all of his extra projects he can't do it. And because he's been sick with a sinusy flu weakness icky bug - that's attached on to him like the plague for a week.  And because he keeps having bad back/neck pinched issues.  So he's been on his buttox on our couch cruising craigslist on the internet.  And he's BORED!  I stomped thru and threw my fit.  I WAS going to head to the internet (next on my "to do list" for the day) and he made the mistake of commenting on that too "oh and your'e going to be gone for ANOTHER 3 hours"  and I thru all of the bags of clothes/bedding back in the house.  By golly all of these ungrateful family members of mine are gonna get dressed because we're heading out into the 18 degree snow to go hiking!! Thank goodness I was smart enough to google "sunset" time before we left.. because with drivetime it would've gotten dark before we got out of the car.  
We ended up going to watch Jack Reacher.  And the kids were fantastic during the movie!! But that didn't last long... 
Fit #3
We came out of the movie and found that it had been snowing again (we still have inches on the ground since before Christmas) and the roads were crap.  So we walked over to A&W/KFC because it was in the parking lot and an easy dinner.  Xav was ok with the ordering part.. until the food arrived at the table.  Than it was moans and dramatics.  His head hurt.  It was noisy (it wasn't... there was only 1 other couple even in the restaurant).  He was hungry but his stomach hurt when he ate.  He was tired.  He was whiny.  I actually got up from the table at one point and walked out of hearing range and called my mom to tell her how he's been.  GAH! 
There are some things that I need to be sure and mention that I did DO RIGHT today and things that I LEARNED today and things that I put on my TO DO list for the day....

#1 Xav isn't the only one that has sensory overload.  I do too.  Too much noises and tv and people drive me nutty.  Take right now for example.  It's 11:27pm and I'm blogging because every time I try I have 2 kids and 1 husband that insist on reading over my shoulder even thought I DON'T stalk them when they're on this thing.  And now that I have silence because they're in bed my deaf hubby has the news BLARING and all I want to do is tear the tv out of the wall by the plug so I can have silence.  And no it's NOT PMS because my period ended yesterday which leads me too..

#2 I REALLY need to be medicated.  As much as I strive for not putting  pills in my body and choose to just tough things out... I'm caving.  I am pretty sure that us girls have inherited some mood swings from our mommy.  I know that altough my sisters aren't admitting it, that I'm NOT the only one that has these swings either.  I have a hubby who is about as non confrontational as you can get.  Doesn't raise his voice.  Doesn't speak a whole lot in general.  And yet the wrong word at the wrong time.  Ok so just a simple word that wouldn't have to be classified as Wrong can set me off. Like the word Bored today.  Or a word that he's just kidding around with will make me go from Sane to Ape Crazy in about 1/2 a second.  And I will Flip the Heck Out! I remember my mom did (and does) it in our childhood.  Than they stuck her on Happy Pills and she was AWESOME.  But than she was -and is- off them and OMG.  And I'm pretty sure that's my problem.  Insurance kicks in March 1st and the 2nd I'm going to be sitting in the doctors office...

#3 Xav is going to have to see therapist/counselor/physiatrist(psycologist?)? Basically I want him to see someone who specializes in behavior. So far he just sees a pediatrician for his ADHD.  But his little fits he has I REALLY think should be better assessed by people that specialize in behavior.  And we will just continue to take one fit at a time. 

#4 Every time a fit happened today we did share lots of hugs and hugs and I Love Yous and I'm Sorry For My Fits.  So there's that....
And I know that I've mentioned a few of these things already... but these stupid thoughts are swirling about in my tired tired head so I'm going to repeat them anyways....So many things have happened lately and I've been overloaded and we've all been so busy and so much has happened.  We moved back to Madras, where Mommy and Daddy live.  Twin and her hubby have started the adoption process... ok so they're full into it now.  Baby Sis graduated from Nursing college (so proud!) and we were there thanks to YouTube capabilities.  And I'm beginning to worry that I just sound like I'm negative negative negative all of the time on my kids when there are so many people that see the positive positive positive of there's.  And the kids missed their 1st Christmas at their bio-dads ever thanks to the snow on the mountain.  And I DO love them to pieces (just wish they weren't so HYPER and SUPER ENERGY all the time!).  And this was the first year that we didn't put up a Tree Tree and we put up a Mini Christmas Tree so that our 4 kitties wouldn't terrorize it like they did last year.  And I really want to get another tattoo.  And I really really really just want to save up for a trip to Germany to see Twin.  And I've bawled a LOT lately because I miss Twin so much. And Butch is awesome and just pampered me for Christmas yesterday and got me a fabulous cut (like an A-line) and red lowlights in my hair. And that about sums up the past month.....

i"ve tried coming up with blog ideas since we've moved.  Titles like "Be Careful What You Wish For" and "How To Survive the Teen Years of Mommyhood" or "Setting Boundaries with your Besties" and "How to Get the Doctor to believe it's NOT PMS!".... and than the school shooting hit.  And I felt like griping about my life is truly selfish knowing how horrific other people have it.  Their babies went to school and NEVER came home :(  Than I began reflecting on how that's not ALL of it.  (My brain is always running 100 mph)Twin works with people that have suffered mind blowing tragedies that make a broken bone seem TAME.  Daddy is a Paramedic and has hauled bodies that have died in ways that he will never forget. And here I am wanting to moan about how mouthy my 13 year old (still is) or how adjusting to this move has had many ups and many more downs (mainly out of MASSIVE EXHAUSTION) but how nothing is more fun than living at The Parentals House out of your UHaul for a week while trying to adjust to a new site/computer system/management co.  And how once insurance hits I REALLY need to see a doctor about leveling out my mood swings.
Wed Xav came home from 4th grade with rumors that someone at the HS (there's a 3 block stretch that's the HS in the middle and K-2 grade school on one side and 3-5th grade school on the other) was coming to school on Fri to do a shootout we got a little leary.  Especially hearing how other towns have had people arrested for weapon related issues at other schools, since this tragedy happened.  Yesterday he comes in the office SCHOOLS' CLOSED TOMORROW BECAUSE OF THE SHOOTING RUMORS...

I got 2 fliers from the school AND 2 phone calls stressing this...
Austin than told me that there were rumors about the same at his middle school too. "police have investigated these rumors and found no credible threats" quotes from the local news channel... "the rumors create a signifcant distraction to our schools.."...

So the holiday break starts today instead of tomorrow...As long as the Mayan calendar isn't right, or an asteroid doesn't hit the earth,
or the sun doesn't explode today... (and I have the song from Elf when she's singing in the shower and he's sitting on the counter singing with her stuck in my head...)

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld

As I was making my last run thru of my office... I found this taped to my computer.... I promptly took it off and taped it to the back of my cell phone...

Dad/Mom & the Uhaul are hoping to be here by 11:30am.
My boss is hoping to be here by 1 to do our move out paperwork.

If I NEVER see a Uhaul again it will be too soon...

I spent my Thanksgiving fretting because when Butch dropped them with dad for the 5 day weekend (I was at home waiting for an electrician) Xav showed his dad his report card which had "needs improvement" in places.  The sperm donor to my munchkins actually said "Do you know what THAT means?  It means you're a RETARD."

Xav's response.... (when we picked them up 5 days later).... (bless his little heart..he didn't say it in a I Hate My Dad kind of a way)..
"Mom, I know I'm SPECIAL, that doesn't make me a RETARD."
I'm Thankful that I have two healthy children, six healthy step-children, one healthy grandchild (even if I might never get to meet many of them..)
I'm Thankful that I managed to pack our entire apartment without killing anyone in the process..
I'm Thankful that I have a job... and one that comes with rent + utilities paid for!!
I'm Thankful that I have Two of the Best Sisters that anyone could ever hope to have...
I'm Thankful that I have a Hubby who cooks, cleans (sometimes), dishes (ditto on the sometimes) and no matter how bitchy I get is still here for me after 6 years!!
I'm Thankful that my parents are still married... after 35 years... and will have their 74th anniversary.. since they're living to be 100...
I'm Thankful that I have another day to live.  Another breath to breathe.  In a Free Land.  Food on the table.  Clothes on our backs.  A roof over our heads.  And a loving family.
Actually, cats do this to protect you from gnomes who come and steal your breath
  while you sleep. -- John Dobbin

9 Things I've found when packing

#1. a Dallas shot glass I got at a training seminar in Dallas, Texas back in '00

#2. a John Cena action figure

#3. a red M'n'M

#4. the missing blue pencil sharpener

#5. my superman t-shirt

#6. Xav's soccer trophy

#7. a green vw bug candy holder

#8. a movie ticket from MI3

#9. a baby tooth that the Tooth Fairy left behind



    Dear Twin... sometimes words come out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to stop them... well aint that the life...


    Some people make parenting look sooo easy.  They are big fat liar pants.  Parenting is hard.  Kids can be awful.  They don't come with an Instruction Manual.  I started young and have grown up with them.  We have gone through a lot together.  And I would have never been able to do it without the wonderful family I have.  I started blogging because of Twin.  She said that it wasn't nice of me to take a Bad Day out on the Hubby or the Brats.  And so this began.... it's my Rantings From The Time Out Corner... because, let's face it - when I'm full on Cranky Pants... my hubby doesn't fail to make me go Sit One Out for the Team.  (for more see ME above)

    I would like your thoughts, help, comments, feedback. I am not a robot!

    No matter how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with