We're standing in the middle of Safeway and the place is packed. The parking lot was packed. Was today some sort of a holiday that I can't remember? Is there some super great sale on eggs and soda pop or something? So back to us, in the aisle, of an unusally crowded store. When Austin has to give Xav a good shove. And Xav starts making a scene. So my instant reaction is to grab ahold of Austin's arm in a nice muscle - pinching mom-grab. And what does the little fucker do to my horror but flop his head back and holler ASSAULT! I immediately put down the hot dog buns, hang up the phone with an "OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE HE JUST DID THAT" grab his jacket & Xav's and march straight thru gawking customers and to the door. By the time we've hit the parking lot they know they've never made me this mad before.  Xav is hysterical. Austin has decided the best action he can do is to shove up his arm sleeve and start sobbing and screaming THAT HURT. I am SEEING. RED. I lean over and quietly hiss between gritted teeth in his hear YOU'RE GONNA HAVE YOUR ASS BEAT WHEN YOU GET HOME IF YOU DON'T GET IN THE CAR. RIGHT. NOW.  Their is a white haired 80something grandma lady not 20 feet from my car staring at us. The minute the last car door gets slammed shut I lose all control and just start screaming and swearing at them (BEST MOMMY MOVE EVER. I KNOW. I KNOW. But I'm sorry if the last thing I was thinking about was "count to 10 and than react") The lady can hear me thru the closed windows as I'm pulling past her because she's turning in our direction. Still staring. As we pull down the street I swear she's following me in her car. And I call Butch on speakerphone and I promptly yell the whole scene to him. I'm freaking out. What if she called our plate #'s into the cops?? I didn't leave a mark. But Lord knows there's always the crazy obsessive CSD person that takes children away from their mommies in the blink of an eye! We've all grown up hearing those stories. It could happen!!! I would expect this shit from him when he was 5. And Lord knows he pulled a lot of hissy fits in grocery stores. And other customers always give you the Been There Done That look. But at 5feet tall and 12 years old it's a whole new ball game. Assault? *Gasp* Where??? We pull in the driveway and I'm still yelling to Butch about it. Butch sends him straight to his room and me to Time Out. 10 minutes later Butch heads back out to get the hot dog buns I left behind. Austin & I had a little chat. He called himself stupid & I explained to my sobbing little boy that he wasn't stupid. Just a typical 12 year old little boy with Foot In Mouth Syndrome. His punishment besides being grounded for a week? Well unfortunatley I didn't do what I wanted. I wanted to bend him over my knee and whip his ass. But I didn't, because we don't, because we never have, even though just once would probably do t-- I have to wrap this up to get him started. He's going to clean the entire bathroom - including scrubbing the floor (on his hands & knees - no mop) and going to scrub the vinyl of our kitchen/living room/dining area - by hand, no mop. And I might even throw in some sentences.
9/19/2011 10:06:38

Oh good gravy! I woulda done exactly the same thing you did! And the whole screaming and swearing in the car? Been there done that. Totally.

9/19/2011 11:42:24

It's always a relief to hear that I'm not the only one. ;)


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    Dear Twin... sometimes words come out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to stop them... well aint that the life...


    Some people make parenting look sooo easy.  They are big fat liar pants.  Parenting is hard.  Kids can be awful.  They don't come with an Instruction Manual.  I started young and have grown up with them.  We have gone through a lot together.  And I would have never been able to do it without the wonderful family I have.  I started blogging because of Twin.  She said that it wasn't nice of me to take a Bad Day out on the Hubby or the Brats.  And so this began.... it's my Rantings From The Time Out Corner... because, let's face it - when I'm full on Cranky Pants... my hubby doesn't fail to make me go Sit One Out for the Team.  (for more see ME above)

    I would like your thoughts, help, comments, feedback. I am not a robot!

    No matter how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with