I don't know what's better.. the fact that I will spend this weekend packing almost all of our things... or the fact that we won't actually be loading the UHaul for another 12 days. Basically the edge of our living room is going to be stacked with boxes. (With next weekend being Thanksgiving, this weekend became the free time to pack.).
I've tried to be creative too.
First I tried to save space by flushing items down the toilet. Waste not, want not! I even blamed the boys with their big poop when it started backing up!! I think Butch got suspicious when he pulled my pink hoodie out though..
Than I tried stuffing things under the mattress like it was a giant sandwich. I figured if I ducktaped the boxsprings and mattress together it would be super easy to haul out on moving day. Unfortunately when Butch couldn't sink into his pre-formed sinking hole on his side of the mattress he got a little cranky. Apparently feeling the corner of a large boot in your back really isn't that comfortable??
The next tactic I tried was really a way to just put off the inevitable. I filled the hall closet to the point I had to wedge a chair under the door knob just to keep it shut. We NEVER use that closet so it should be a safe bet? I made the mistake of getting one of the kitties in their too, and when the kids felt sorry for her and tried letting her out, it call came crashing down. Double grrr.
The garbage disposal sounded swell. All that whirring and chomping. That would do it! I wondered why he had a plug in it, but a wrench took that puppy right out and I filled that hole right up! Probelm was that Butch found me looking for the imaginary switch to turn it on. At which time he told me we didn't have a garbage disposal. And was that his favorite pair of underwear?
One move we had in the past was on such a short notice we opened our doors and told the neighbors is was a free garage sale. They took almost all of our furniture. We figured it was a good excuse for a thrift-store makevoer at the next stop. The guys helped "pack" the kitchen by throwing 95% of the dishes away. My mom was furious when she showed up the next day at the new place. I think that's why she's coming here so bad. Nothing's staying behind this time. Bwa ha ha ha.
And... on a lighter note... I'm gonna do something I don't normally do... share a funny joke I just got via email from a good friend...
A young man named John received a parrot as a
gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up
and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and
the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his
hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot
squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd
hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly
stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have
offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to
correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the
change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his
behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey
In case you're wondering (after the last post)... yep... we're moving.
Want to know how we told our kids?
Well... Butch had gone to pick them up from a visit with bio-dad (I was at home working).
First thing out of Austin's mouth (when he got in the car) "Guess what Dad. Our dad gave our bedroom to a drunk girl & her daughter. And our room is now the garage!"
Butch (in response). "Guess what Austin. We're moving to Madras!"
Ok, so that's not how I'd imagined that going.
And I spent a lot of time the past few days talking the kids through it.
And bio-dad sunk his battleship when he showered joy and laughter on the drunk's daughter all weekend, and attitude and sarcasm on his offspring. Teenage boys are very observant.
It's hard watching him and his first real gfriend (they hit 6 months tomorrow!) and first kiss ... have to go through the heartbreak of a breakup.
But having my Mommy and Daddy part of the whole show this time really helps.
And like Butch told Austin "Don't worry Austin. We're never gonna get to move from Madras. Your mom aint leaving her mommy and daddy (again)."
I'm sitting here in the dark in my living room at 6:36 in the morning on a day when I could actually sleep in until at least 7:30am if I wanted to. Not that I don't need to be in my office today, but there's no school -- so I don't have kids to even contend with on breaking my morning routine.
I'm sitting here talking myself thru how I'm gonna tell them.... how I'm going to break it to them YET again...how I could do it AGAIN....
I know that you enjoy the fact that you've seen many places in your life... but it's time to load that Uhaul again!
People often ask me where I'm from... I tell them -- Douglas County?) Hmmmm.. Well... let me break it down to you (birth - 25 WAS all in Douglas County)
age: birth - 6th grade: 1 town (Roseburg), 3 schools, 5 diff houses
age: 7th-12th grade: 1 town (Glendale), 1 school (not counting a 2 month attempt at homeschool) (Jr High & High School are actually combined - 25 kids a grade), 2 diff houses
age 19-25: (all Douglas County - 1st marriage to bio-dad) Glendale (birth of kiddo 1), Tri City, Riddle (birth of kiddo 2), Roseburg (lived briefly in my grandpaperents home of 40+ years)(divorce),
age 25-28: (GOT DIVORCED... moved to Madras - where parentals live - I lived with them for a few months around a couple of these moves) - apt #1, apt #2, house, apt #2 (returned there, met Butch the Mtc man, married him & started work as apt mgrs for subsidized housing)
age 28-current - (LIFE AS APTMT MGR)
-Madras (still in apt #2 - hubby did 2 complexes)
-Vale (complex #1) - 4 mo (they said the move to BFE wouldn't be short-term) - it paid so low we were on food stamps
-Oakridge (2 complexes) - 1 year (after a stint where my son hit the news for his teacher masking him to his chair, it didn't take much convincing for us to want to move)
-St Helens (4 complexes) - we were just starting year 5 when we moved where we are now...
-Florence (1 comples) - been here a whopping 6 months... and as beautiful and peaceful as it is... financially I realize we should have just hike up the big kid panties some more and never moved here...
SCHOOLS FOR KIDS?
Austin - K&1 was one school, 2 was another (Madras changed school lines), 3rd was the News incident, 4th (repeated this grade) & 5th at one school, 6th at one (St H - 6th was it's own school, but he had the same kids for 4 years), 6th grade was 2 schools (with the move here), 7th will be 2 schools if we move
Xav - K-2 was one schoo, 3 was another (St H was broke up K-2, 3-5, 6, 7-8, 9-12 ... I know it was wierd) (3rd was two schools, with the move here), 4th will be 2 schools if we move
I was never going to be "that parent"
my kids were going to grow up in a town where his aunties and uncles and cousins live and we'd have saturday meals together. we weren't going to bounce around like this. And than life happened. Parentals moved to Madras when I was prego w/ Xav. Daddy got a fantastic job. They got a house. Roo moved away. Twin moved away. And I, ever the Mommys Girl, ended up where Mommy was (same town, but I had my own place). If it hadn't been for Butch I would still be there. Ironically enough the year I moved there was the year Butch (my Cali/Az boy) did too.
This past Friday we had 2 job offers. From the company we worked for 2004-2007. They've been bought out by new owners, who we worked for the last year we were in St H - great people/company/benifts/etc.
The 1st offer was an Easy No. We'd get 1/2 of what we get now. And when your income is so low that you have to scrape cans to feed your kids (and we never had this issue in St H).. income comes into a big factor on a move. (When we moved here we were promised FT. And I thought it would be 40 hrs/wk... which wouldn't have been a paycut at all... It ended up being 30 hrs/wk... and that was way more hours than we could handle... )
The 2nd offer made us stop and open things up for negotiations. Madras. Mommy (and Daddy). To a town we lived in for 3 years, we have friends there, our kids have friends there, we have a church there, Mommy/Daddy live there, I have a NON work related friend there. We even know some of the teachers (they actually go to the church). They will pay for our move. They're a great company/benefits/etc. The President of the Co got a 1 week notice from the mgr there, and immediately said to call us. He's actually going to overstaff the mtc dept and put Butch in charge of the 2 current guys that are there. And I'd run two sites, complete with Asst (who's a newbie to the business). Pres is going to call me the beginning of this week with the $ rate and the details of paying for the move.
This is real people. We could realistically be turning in a 2 week notice by the end of the week.
The hardest part? I didn't think I'd like it here. I like the town (we live a 5 mile drive from the Pacific Ocean). I like the complex (for the most part... they all have trailer park drama... it's low income housing..). I like the local PD. I like the church. Austin likes the youth group. The kids have friends.
But going back to Madras. To seeing my parents on an almost daily basis. Being able to help mom in her janitor business. Going back to a church where we know a lot of names and faces. Austin will know kids in his youth group. My parents run the Wed program Xav will do. Butch has a 6 year old that lives there that he will (hopefully) be able to start seeing again. We have NON work connections (which is HUGE for me).
The site has me a little worried.
I know it's a positive thing.
I often miss my family. A lot. So being near Mommy and Daddy will help that. I HATE the fact that my kids don't have family near by to help be part of their growing up years.
Being there has great long-term potential. We could eventually Area Manage from there.
I just hate the idea that I've barely unpacked... and gonna get to do it again... Ugh.
My little guy made the front page of the local newspaper...with his two bff's. I'm so proud!! This was taken at the halloween ("harvest party") party at our church. We didn't even know his pic was front page (since we don't typically buy it) until the other two's dad told me. Love it!! I (of course) immediately shot a link to my family. He had to take the whole paper to school (and kept threatening to cut it out).
As the teenager and the hubby and squaring shoulders... yet again... to go to blows... yet again. I wonder.
Will our marriage surive these hellish teenage years?
We LOVE each other. There's no doubt about that.
He knew before he ever signed up for this rodeo that there was a clause located between the "in sickness and health" and the "til death due us part." And that was
"and I agree to father these two bratty children as if they're my own... and I agree that this family includes Twin, Roo, Parentals, Brats...and I will NEVER make her choose them or me.."
It's a clause that was read up front to every specimen I dated between the Bio-dad and Butch. It's a package deal, or not at all. And he's graciously fallen right into our family unit.
But this morning when I had Austin come screaming in the bathroom, mid conditioning my hair, because the two of them were going at it. And than I got to hear the whole "he said" and "did he tell you about THIS happening" between the two of them I began to worry. That seed that bursts into bloom every now and than....
Will we make it?
I told him in as simple and non-confrontational words as I could...
"He's a teenager. They're assholes. All tennagers go through this. They're angry little assholes. It's a phase they all outgrow. But it could be YEARS. When I'm mad at him you make me take a Time Out. The same goes for you."
And the voices in my head were trying to telepathetically tell him
"Please don't leave. We need you. We will NEVER survive the Teenager Phase without you."
And now that they're at school and we're working... well... hopefully it's all good...
Twin is coming up with ideas about possible xmas cards for me... xoxo
I am gonna flip my grits all over his 13 year old body. I don't know how I'm going to live to see the day he turns 14. I really don't. I don't know how to talk with boys. I don't know how to get on his level in a way to help him. I'm at a loss on how to raise him. Do I just build him a padded room and slide the food under the door and include small bathroom breaks with weekly showertime? Cheese and crackers he drives me up a freakin wall. I don't get how boys think. Or how to communicate. I use long sentences even though I know dang well that four words in he isn't tracking at all. And yet I'm on a Mommy Soap box and come hell or highwater I'm gonna tear this self righteous teen wide open on this one. Yes I am. It doesn't matter if my Inner Voice is giving me a Face Palm because it knows that 99% of my one sided chewing is really getting nowhere. I'm full steam ahead and you better jump on cuz this crazy train aint stopping. You know what I learned? What the real point is? It's NOT that he thinks he's stupid. It's not that he's forgotten to turn in 1 page of homework four days in a row after spending two weekends in a row doing 28 pages of incomplete work and corrections. It's not that he hates every other subject but creative writing and PE. It's not that he thinks it's appropriate to quote rap battles from youtube any time and place. It's not that he tells us to shut up every time we talk. It's not that I can envision myself throwing him on the floor and scaring the bejeesus out of him. It's not that he freaked out on me that he can't go to college because we are to poor to pay for it for him. It's not that he is so disprespectful that I'm embarassed to introduce him to people 94% of the time. It's not that he's too big to bend over my knee and give him a good butt whooping. It's not that I'm so angry at him that explenetives are flying out of my mouth left and right. It's not that he thinks he can't get a work permit to get a job when he's 16 because he doesn't think anyone will let him. It's not that he thinks special ed kids are forced to be segregated and therefore mocked for eternity. It's not that he refuses to ask questions to help him learn because he thinks it makes him look like an idiot. It's not any of those things. You wanna know what it is? What it REALLY IS?? He doesn't care about anyone other than himself. That's what it boils down to.. In his world It's All About Him. That's it. Our stories in life lessons don't matter. It's all about him and all about him. He's all that matters. He's learned how to milk it too. He starts with the Pity Me and when that doesn't work he switches to Ignoring Me Talking and Rudely Making Faces and/or Saying Inappropriate things. When I SNAP he resorts to Tears until Mommy Gives Him Sympathy. Five minutes later? He's right back to being full on jerk. No remorse. Acts like it Never Happened. I wanna take my hand and smack him right across the face. So bad. And than I blink and realize that I can't. Because it's All About Him. Remember? I know he's just trying to Push Buttons and Find His Boundaries. But Lordy help me child. As much as I know we have awesome connecting moments (like the Halloween party) there are soo many moments that are SHUTUPANDDOYOURHOMEWORKLIKEI'VEBEENNAGGINGATYOURFORTHEPASTHOUR!! that I want to scream!! Thanks for that Memo when I was Dreaming About Mommyhood. Thanks for that How To Raise Teenagers Without Throwing Yourself Off The Bridge. Thanks for the Heads Up on Dealing with your Child when he grows a large sack and thinks it's appropriate to Be The Boss.
As always... thanks for listening.... and letting me know that I'm NOT the only one. And my teen isn't the only Monster out ther
I need to preface this by saying that I totally failed at Halloween this year. Didn't even buy a stupid pumpkin to carve. Ya. I called the Pumpkin stupid. I mean, I feel bad for Xav. But I'm thankful he's such an airhead that he didn't really say anything about it either. So I didn't bring it up. Because had I pointed it out it would have started a Something over it and so I just kept those thoughts in my head. I'm not in the mood. He hasn't had his meds for 4 days, while we're waiting on the pharmacy to fill it, so we've been having enough Something moments around our house!! Enough I say!!
Xav informed me he was having Three Halloweens.
One was a Halloween party at his school. I strapped on my Big Girl panties and headed down to the school. Me, another mom, and a dad all helped kids get frosted covered cupcakes (LOTS OF FROSTING), suckers, and chips w/ dip. Nothing was more priceless was when Ms P told Dad... "it's ok -- you can use your Words to help keep them in line." He replied with "You don't want me to use My Words." She giggled with a "well... just try and keep them Appropriate" but than I was giggling "what were they?" and he said "the belt's already off... don't make me use it!" I was roaring by now. If it wasn't for the fact that there was already 4 kids doing break dancing on the floor, I would have been rolling on it in a fit of glee. And he was one of those tall cowboy kind of guys, complete with the hunting style chamo jacket. I could actually hear the belt flying off the straps! Bwa ha ha ha.
The Second Funny of the party... pre-party found Xav and I hustling to the office in search of missing pop. (Dad brought it by when we returned empty handed). Xav points out "look mom - it's our multi-personality room." "Honey - I think you mean Multi Purpose Room." "No, Mom. We have one of those too. That's our Multi Personality Room." Yep. I have one of those too. It's called my Living Room. Snicker Snicker
Two was Trick or Treating. And, thanks to the Oregon Coast Rain (they all go together like birds of a feather), it didn't happen. So we just skipped to Three
Three was our Church Howl-le-lujia Party aka Harvest Party aka Free Kid Carnival with fun kid games and loads of candy. This year I stuffed 5 kids in the car and headed there. Had to be there at 5 for set up. Austin and his gf helped man the battle stations. Xav and his 2 friends just ran a-muck until the game time started from 6-8. By 7:30 I actually went hunting for him. It'd been an hour plus since I'd seen his bright and shining face, and although I knew he wasn't leaving the confines of the church we were all packed in... I still felt the need to push my way past the 45 passenger line waiting to see the "Exotic animals" (better known as snake, porcupine, small car size turtle, and cockroaches) to try and track the little booger down. He ended up running the game that I had just relieved his brother on.
Wrapped the night up with a call to my favorite Bonnie. Bonnie is my 70 year old ex-assistant that I love so much. It was her birthday. And, althought I knew 9pm was a LOT to late for her, I called her anyways. Proabably made her whole night :)
All of us have that Crazy Person in their life. My C.P. is Z. I've known Z for years. The longer I know Z, the more I find out about Z, the more I'm glad Z lives far far away. This week would not be complete without a random wtf text from my Crazy Person....
Butch (to me, upon me walking in the door -- returning from church): Z called. Called your phone first. Than mine. You gonna call Z back?
Me: Um. Nope.
Me: Z texted. Check this out...
Z: Did you have a tsunami warning there are you ok
**Butch: Tell Z the whole place is destroyed. Get Z riled up. Z would do it to you!
Me: It's flooded like hell we are headed to you
Z: Serious did you have a warning
Me: I haven't heard anything. I was at church. didn't hear anything there either
Z: I see On Facebook from a previous tenant that there was a tsunami warning in Florence
Me *rolling eyes to myself... just great... that means Z is trying to Stir The Pot with my nieghbors..*
Me: I'm not too worried. I googled it and there's a small mention of it on kmtr but nothing on kezi and nothing on the weather channel
Z: I am ok hiding out from tenants lol in my apt and trying to stay warm it is so cold here
Me: *apparently Z must translate "hiding out from tenants" to mean "stalking them on fb"
Me: I just found it. Tsunami warning was dropped at 445am this morning
Z: Ok I know they do warnings and people don't take it serious so just be prepared just in case
Me: We will
And that was that. Mid morning and random wtf on a supposed issue that was snooped up with someone over here, in hopes of making my blood boil and blood pressure go up. And yet after the :) I never heard from Z again.