Than Xav entered the picture.
I get that all kids are different. All kids respond different to things.
Xav has the attention span of a goldfish.
Austin can play video games for hours.
While Xav flicks flicks flicks through them. Then gets bored.
Xav gets hyper with or without sugar. With or without eating certain dyes or food colors. From 6am until you make him crash.
Meds help him be a heck of a lot calmer. But mid-day he seems to be zoned quite a bit. And when they wear off mid-afternoon he's wound right back up again. I can't give him an additonal dose because than he won't sleep at night.
Austin can get obnoxious when playing nerf gun wars with his friends & Xav, but I would never use the word "hyper" to describe him.
Xav doesn't process threats ...let me re-word that... He doesn't process consequences at all... If you put it in a sentence of "you can do x or y is going to happen" All he hears is "y is happening"
Austin processes threats. And since Daddy follows through (and Mommy tries her hardest too...trying being the key word there)... he registers them more and more.
Xav can't listen at all. Most likely due to the fact that focus at all is a problem. Yet on his meds he can focus. His teachers say that w/out his meds he'll try-try-try his little heart out, and yet doesn't have much to show for it. With his meds he's a straight-A kid. He excels in Math above his grade level.
Austin can focus, but he's scholastically a little slower than the other kids in math and reading. He has the Title 1 classes for them, which are helping tremendously.
Xav is super sensitive to noises around him. From other people talking, to tv, to the fan. If it's a distraction when he's trying to do something, he'll freak out. (There was an episode on Parenthood on NBC that shows the kid freaking out about the sound of a fish tank. That's Xav!!) Although plug him into his mp3 player & headphones and he'll tune us all out...
Austin doesn't have this problem at all. He has no problem tuning us all out when he's doing things. He's already grown into his "selective man" hearing.
Xav doesn't play well with others. He's more of a 1-kid friend. Put at least 3 together (including him) and he just snaps. His little nerves get all supersensitive. Which results in him either a) coming home to mommy or b) playing by himself. This is the same with or without meds. In fact with the meds he tends to seclude himself even more.
He still can't sleep by himself. Yes, this is my fault. At 8 years old he has to be able to at least touch his brother. So if they have two beds in the same room - it can't be more than an arms reach away from his brother. He can wander, if he doesn't have others there playing with him. And especially if Big Brother Austin isn't there to keep an eye on him.
Austin is often Mr Popular at every site we live at. Shoot, even the kids Xav's age will come ask to play with Austin. The funny thing is that Austin never notices this. Even when we point it out to him.
Xav still tries to sneak into mommy's bed. Since he still doesn't sleep through the night. He'll wake up because he's wet (from peeing the bed - at least once a week or month) or from nightmare... and he'll come to my bed.
Austin still wets the bed too (he'd be MORTIFIED if he was reading this) and YES I've read and heard advice up the ying-yang on this topic. He occasionally has bad dreams too. But he stopped sleeping with me with Larry and I got together when he was 7, and has happily just slep with/near Xav since.
Xav is VERY mommy dependent. I have to be the one to take him to school. Daddy can pick him up. But I have to take him.
Austin just likes to be independent. The first day of 4th grade he insisted on walking himself to school with one of the neighbor kids. Mommy is embarassing. Although last year he let me drive him to/from school. More out of pre-teen laziness for him and over-paranoid-don't-want-him-kidnapped from me.
Xav, I'm afraid, has years of me escorting him to/from his classroom. I don't trust him enough to leave him at the playground before school... even with all the other kids & teachers!! He needs his own set of eyes just on him!
Xav could care less about others feelings. Not in a mean way. They just don't register to him. Last summer, at 7 years old, he'd look his biodad in the face & tell him that he wasn't staying for the visit. He could visit with Austin - and Austin could just suck it up. And the little guy wouldn't bat an eye, or lose sleep over it. For the whole weekend. He did this a couple of times that summer.
Austin is the complete opposite. Austin is like me. He doesn't like to upset people. He'll just as soon keep his mouth shut that draw attention so himself. (The only exception to this is how he reacts in the privacy of our home.).
Austin is growing into quite the young man.
And he's used to the extra attention and quirks that it takes to take care of Xav.
He also treats him like every other Little Bro and is sure to torment him every step of the way...
Xav is my baby.
And I want to let him grow up like Austin is doing, and yet I know that he requires more attention to do so.
He hasn't been on his meds most of the summer. Because he spent 2 weeks camping at grandmas. Came home for 10 days & went to biodads for 2.5 weeks. I'm taking him in tomorrow to get him back on his meds. And I'm sooo excited about it. Trying to get him regulated before school starts. Never realized how much they helped, until we got them OUT of his system. Since I never got to see him fully on them, because they're out of his system by the time he's home from school.
I love my boys.