We are headed to a funeral this weekend.  A daughter of a family that our family grew up with.  Our sisters are best friends.  She was 22.  There are so many people that this has devastated.  Her name is Chelsey.  She has 6 siblings.  Like me, she has sisters that she is super close to.

What do you say to someone that this happens to?  If I were you I'd be curled up in a fetile position bawling my eyes out.  I would be in such a state of shock and despair.  I can't even imagine the thought of losing one of my sisters.  And she was so young.  And has a beautiful little daughter too.  It was a car accident.  

I just want to tell them that I'm so so so sorry.  And hug them.  And I wish I could take the pain away.  I wish I could go back to the moment that the car hit her.. and just make the stupid car disappear.  

I haven't seen Chelsey since she was 5.  I used to babysit her and some of her siblings so her parents could be the rec leaders at our camp.  So it's hard, because I really haven't been a part of her life.  I haven't seen her for 15 years.  I knew her from birth until age 7.  I spent time at their house and went cutting firewood with them.  

She grew up.  She went to college.  She had a daughter.  And with one bad decision in driving (by someone else), her life ended.  

I've never lost a sibling myself.  I can't imagine it.  I can't begin to guess the depths of grief that her family will go thru.  Do you erect a memorial shrine in your house for them?  Do you say a prayer for them everynight? Do you light a candle for them? Do you ever really stop crying?  When I lost my grandpa I bawled my eyes out for a year.  Soul crushing sobs. That was back in 96, and I still have days that I wake up thinking I'm talking to him. And that was my grandpa, not my sister.  Someone that I have talked to almost every day of my life.

The Chelsey above in the white dress is the one that I remember.
The one below is the beautiful woman that she grew up to be.
You are loved.
You will be missed.
9/10/2012 06:13:58

I love you!!! I wish we could have Gin there, too, but I'll have to settle for just us. Seeing the tragedy the Duffy family is going through makes me want to hug everyone in the family until their eyes pop out. Though the reason why breaks my heart, I can't wait to see you in 4 days.

9/10/2012 16:44:14

I love you too!! And I completely agree. Squeeze you and never let you go.... it will be an awfully tight fit... both of us hugging in the drivers seat over the weekend... but we will do it!!

9/11/2012 10:17:52

Squeezing all around! On top of all that ... (your post) her older sister is continually updating FB with a loving positing atmostphere! I'm so proud of Rosy ... because I would be (a) silent on that thing (b) hiding in the dark (c) totally pulling a Hilary Swank at the beginning of P.S. I Love You. I love you both and miss you both terribly. It meant the world to me that Big Sir kept repeating ... FOR DAYS ... that he was GOING TO SEND ROO TO OREGON ... almost whether she wanted too or not.
Because that's what family is for. And I appreciate Seth and Lar just as much. Wish I could see you!

10/6/2012 21:59:00

Oh Bex... I know I'm playing catch up but this was so very sad. I couldn't bear to lose one of my siblings!

10/8/2012 04:23:20

It was a beautiful 6 hour celebration of her life. That I bawled my way through. All the while hugging my baby sister and holding her hand...


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    Dear Twin... sometimes words come out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to stop them... well aint that the life...


    Some people make parenting look sooo easy.  They are big fat liar pants.  Parenting is hard.  Kids can be awful.  They don't come with an Instruction Manual.  I started young and have grown up with them.  We have gone through a lot together.  And I would have never been able to do it without the wonderful family I have.  I started blogging because of Twin.  She said that it wasn't nice of me to take a Bad Day out on the Hubby or the Brats.  And so this began.... it's my Rantings From The Time Out Corner... because, let's face it - when I'm full on Cranky Pants... my hubby doesn't fail to make me go Sit One Out for the Team.  (for more see ME above)

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    No matter how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with