Dear 2012

I've never been one for New Years Resolutions. Time is something that waits for no man.  Children grow up.  We age.  I'm one for making Life Changes (i.e. weight loss, grow your hair long, be a better person), but why wait until Jan 1? I did find a list that I thought we all could enjoy.  Most of these are from happywink.org, and I added a few myself.  Bon apetite!

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.

Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.

I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....

I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.

I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).

I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.

I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.

I will think of a password other than "password."

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be more imaginative.

I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.

I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number

I will see how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie pop

I will practice honesty...like telling people I honestly don't like them

I will not wave one finger and cars when someone cuts me off... I will wave all of my fingers

I will save money on hair care products and wear hats more

I will stop bribing my children to eat by threatening them that there are starving children in Africa

I will remove my toenail polish  before adding another color... because three layers can be a bit tough to remove at once...

I will stop telling my children that syrup really is one of the main food groups

I will teach my children to appreciate classic movies like Top Gun and Braveheart and Con Air and Elf

I will brush my teeth more than once a day

I will floss my teeth more than once a month

I will bake cookies from scratch... not from one of those pre-made bags in the baking aisle

I will not cheat on the game of Monopoly

I will not test monkeys in order to make them geniuses

I resolve to think before I talk... instead of after... while I'm kicking myself

I will use my poster that says "bang head here"

I will use my excercise machine for more than just a coat rack

I will clean the oven

I will upgrade my Fake Smile to a Pissy Grin

I resolve to stop throwing tv remotes at my husband when I am mad

I vow to save our populating planet, by telling ugly stupid people to not reproduce

I will make my husband stop eating cookies in bed

I will microwave less and bake more

I will clean out my car when I'm doing using it

I will not get angry when he leaves the toilet seat up (and I fall in)

I will stop talking to my cats in baby talk

I will stop jealously pointing out every pretty girl I see to my husband

I will try on a pair of high heels

I will stop wearing my favorite holey black tanktop

I will shut my window before talking crap about my neighbor

I will talk nicer about my neighbor

I will vacuum the floor more

I will save electricity and just sweep the floor

I will not lick the spoon while I'm serving ice cream

I will stop eating the fudge ice cream right from the tub

I will stop licking the top of all of his beverages just to giggle at him when he unknowingly takes a drink

I will actually listen to her when she prattles on for an hour about her neighbor's cheating wife that .....

I will not smack people with licorice

I will stop

~