Stupid Bighead got a stupid job that is forcing him to take my Darla to stupid Germany for FOUR YEARS.
He's just lucky he's been my "brother" since he was 12 or I'd be plotting to dye his hair neon purple and tattoo "I heart pink fluffy things" across his forehead when he was sleeping next to my precious Darla. Even if I took a limb of his at this point - they'd just manufacture another one for him after they flew him there on an air-life-flight.
We will only be able to see each other once EVERY SIX MONTHS. That's EIGHT TIMES IN FOUR YEARS. Believe me - I recounted. I even took off my shoes and used my toes! (Well, not really...)
Stupid job. I'd kick it in the shins and make it cry if I could. I just want to scream and shout and jump up and down until my voice goes hoarse and my head hurts and I can't do it anymore.
Skype is nice. Phones are nice. Emails are nice. But Stupid Bighead was NOT nice to anyone when he decided to get this f*ng job. I would tell him that (again) if he hadn't had to listen to Darla tell him that for the past four years.